Split-Screen :: The Game-Geek’s Daily Read

It’s a big joke how Nintendo is marketing all sorts of trivial concepts into video games. How ironic is it that when you’d rather be inside playing video games, the Wii’s most successful game has you exercising? But just when it couldn’t have gotten better (or, predictably, much worse), Nintendo peddled Wii Music involving slightly more ridiculous ways to obtain results unachievable in an actual orchestra from an instructor and lame-duck Wiimote movements.

Popular London-based comedy sketch group Idiots of Ants have witnessed the pinnacle of the rising trend and understandably demonstrated its mass potential. The pinnacle? Wii Breakfast. The potential? Making breakfast on your Wii…Yeah!

The objective of the game is to create as perfect an exemplar of a complete breakfast as possible using accessories for every single task. So you have the Wii Frying Pan, Wii Pitcher, Wii Toaster, Wii Sausages and of course, the Wii Newspaper (you do read the newspaper at breakfast, right?). Scoring is really tough but how can mixing your milk and cornflakes not make as vast a difference as leaving the Wii Teabag inside the Wii Mug?

Now all Elliott, Benjamin, James and Andrew have to do is market this masterpiece before Nintendo denies them copyright royalties (or removes their YouTube video, whichever’s crueler). We, for one, think an Indian version should be commissioned. One with unique modes of difficulty that reflect the economics of Indian social standing. There’s below-poverty line (“Very Easy”) mode, it-hasn’t-rained-all-summer-the-crops-are-dying (“Also Very Easy”) mode and bless-the-heavens-it’s-food (part of “Medium”, “Hard” and “Very Hard”) mode. It’d sell like hot-cakes. Not that we get that here either.